Relapses In Eating Disorder Recovery and How to Manage Them

Understanding Relapse in Eating Disorder Recovery: Is It a Setback or a Prompt to Recommit?

Recovery from an eating disorder (ED) is a deeply personal journey, often filled with triumphs, challenges, and everything in between. One of the most difficult aspects of this journey is the experience of relapse—when disordered eating behaviours resurface after a period of progress. If you’ve ever experienced relapse, you may have felt discouraged or wondered if all your hard work has been undone.

But I want to reassure you that relapse doesn’t mean failure. It doesn’t mean you’re back to square one. In fact, it may not even be a relapse in the traditional sense. It could be a prompt—a call from your body and mind to reconnect with the deeper work that will support lasting recovery. Rather than a setback, it might be an invitation to deepen your healing and reaffirm your commitment to recovery.

Is It Really a Relapse, or a Prompt to Recommit?

When we think of “relapse,” we often picture a return to old, disordered behaviors and a feeling of falling backwards in the recovery process. But sometimes, what we experience as a “relapse” is actually an opportunity to reconnect with the deeper emotional, psychological, or physical work that needs attention.

Here’s the thing: recovery is not a straight line. It’s full of ups and downs, and what feels like a setback can sometimes be a prompt for us to re-engage with our growth. So instead of framing these moments as failures, let’s think of them as opportunities to recommit to the journey and move forward with more understanding.

Why Might Relapse Happen?

To understand how a relapse might actually be a prompt for deeper healing, it’s important to know why relapse happens in the first place. There are many factors at play when it comes to eating disorders, and relapse can be a response to emotional, psychological, and even biological cues.

1. Emotional Vulnerability

Eating disorders often develop as a way to cope with difficult emotions—stress, fear, sadness, or shame. When these emotions arise again during recovery, old patterns may surface. You might find yourself craving the sense of control that disordered eating once gave you. But in reality, this behavior is a coping mechanism for the deeper emotional work that hasn’t been fully addressed yet.

2. Unresolved Trauma

For many, an eating disorder is tied to past trauma or emotional wounds. These wounds may be connected to childhood neglect, abuse, or unresolved fears. When we haven’t fully healed these wounds, they can show up in our recovery process. This is why the deeper emotional and psychological work is so essential—it helps us heal from the inside out, addressing the root causes rather than just the symptoms.

3. Cognitive Distortions and Negative Self-Talk

Eating disorders often involve cognitive distortions—irrational thought patterns that tell us we’re not good enough or that we must control our body to be worthy. These thoughts may resurface, especially when we’re feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed. When these distortions creep back in, it’s easy to fall back into old patterns of behavior. But recognizing these thoughts for what they are—distortions—and challenging them is a crucial step in reclaiming our power and moving forward.

Turning Relapse into a Prompt for Deeper Healing

Rather than viewing a relapse as a setback, it can be helpful to reframe it as a prompt—an opportunity to deepen your healing and recommit to your recovery journey. Here’s how you can approach it with compassion and understanding:

1. Acknowledge Without Shame

The first step is to acknowledge what has happened without attaching guilt or shame to it. Relapse doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re weak—it means you’re human. Recovery is full of ups and downs, and moments of struggle don’t erase the progress you’ve made. See it as part of the journey, not the end of it.

2. Reflect on What Triggered It

When relapse happens, take some time to reflect on what may have triggered it. Is there an emotional or stressful situation that caused you to revert to old coping mechanisms? Understanding these triggers can help you identify areas that might need more attention, healing, or support. By recognising patterns, you can make adjustments and build stronger resilience moving forward.

3. Revisit Your “Why”

When you began your recovery journey, you likely had clear reasons for choosing healing—whether it was for freedom, peace of mind, or a better relationship with food and your body. Revisit those reasons. Reconnect with your “why.” If you did journaling at the start of your recovery, go back to it. Remind yourself of how life was when you were caught in the grip of the eating disorder and how far you’ve come since. Reaffirm your commitment to yourself and your recovery.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

It can be incredibly hard to be kind to yourself during moments of relapse. It’s natural to feel disappointment, shame, or frustration. But self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools in recovery. Instead of criticizing yourself, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a loved one. Speak to yourself with empathy and patience, especially in difficult moments. Over time, practicing self-compassion becomes easier, and it helps create a foundation for deeper healing.

5. Reconnect with Your Inner Child

A powerful part of recovery is healing the emotional wounds tied to your inner child. This part of yourself may be carrying the pain, fear, or shame that contributed to the development of the eating disorder. When you experience a setback, it can be an invitation to reconnect with your inner child—offering comfort, reassurance, and healing. Imagine your younger self in front of you, and offer them the love and safety they may have been denied. Reparenting yourself in this way can be a profound step in your journey toward recovery.

Biological and Neurological Factors

It’s important to note that eating disorders also involve biological and neurological factors that can make relapse feel like an insurmountable challenge. When the body is deprived of nutrients, neurotransmitters and hormones can become imbalanced, leading to mood disturbances, anxiety, and food obsession. These biological changes are not within your control, but healing the body with proper nutrition and self-care can help restore balance over time.